A Calm Christmas for Kids: Help With the Tricky Bits

Christmas is full of good things. It is also full of a lot: new faces, noisy lunches, long drives, late nights, and a pile of presents nobody is allowed to open yet. Whether your Christmas is hot and sunny or dark by four o'clock, the tricky bits for kids tend to be the same ones. The good news is that you can see most of them coming.

Below are the moments that wobble kids most over the holidays, with small things to try tonight, no shopping needed. Along the way we'll show the matching Calmlings cards. In our card game, a Wobble is a tricky moment and a Calmling is a calming move that helps a child "tame" it.

Why do kids melt down at Christmas?

Most Christmas meltdowns aren't really about the thing that set them off. The torn paper hat or the wrong colour plate is just the last drop in a full cup. Late nights, different food, noise, new people and a changed routine all add up. It isn't naughtiness. It's simply a lot for a small person.

A few habits can make a big difference:

One big thing a day. A party or the shops or a long drive. Not all three.
Keep a few anchors. The same breakfast, the same bedtime story, the same goodnight words, even if the times move.
Say what's coming. Tell your child who will be there, what will happen and when you'll go home.
Find a quiet spot early. In every house you visit, pick a calm place your child can go before they need it.

How do I prepare my child for Christmas visitors?

A house full of relatives can feel wonderful to grown-ups and overwhelming to a small person. Knockknock is the Wobble for visitors: "New faces coming into your home." Even much-loved grandparents can feel new after a year apart.

Look at photos of who is coming a few days before, and say their names together.
Let your child choose how to say hello: a wave, a high five or a hug. Nobody has to hug.
Give them a job when guests arrive, like taking coats.
Set up a calm spot away from the noise, with a cushion, a book and a soft toy.

Two Calmlings help tame Knockknock. Nestle says, "Go to your calm spot until you feel ready." Strollow says, "Take a slow walk with a grown-up." A walk around the block between lunch and pudding suits grown-ups too.

Knockknock brings the visitors. Nestle and Strollow help tame it.

How can I keep kids calm on a long car trip?

Driving to family at Christmas can mean hours in a car seat. Roadrumble is the Wobble for long car rides: "Bumpy, long, and are we there yet?"

Draw the trip as a line on paper with the stops marked, so your child can tick each one off.
Plan breaks before anyone needs them. A run around a park can do more than another snack.
Pack a small bag your child can reach, with a book, a fidget toy and a drink.

Roadrumble's helpers suit the car well. Melodee says, "Sing or play your favourite song." Skygazer says, "Look up and find shapes in the clouds." Cloud spotting works from the back seat, and you can join in from the front.

How do you help kids wait for presents and take turns?

Waiting is everywhere at Christmas. Waitwhile is the waiting Wobble, and its line is a good one to say out loud together: "Makes time feel slow, but it always ends."

Waiting is easier when kids can see time passing and have something to do with their hands. Tickatock says, "The timer shows how long until it's done." A kitchen timer or a sand timer both work. Fidgetfox says, "Keep your hands busy with a fidget toy." A hair tie or a small squishy ball in a pocket counts.

Present opening is where Turntangle turns up: "Can't wait for its turn to come round." Try opening one present at a time, going round the circle. Its helpers are Tickatock again and Countalot: "Count slowly to 10, then back down to 1."

What about sharing new toys?

Mineymine "Wants every toy all to itself." Before cousins arrive, put one or two special new toys away and agree that everything else is for sharing. Use a timer for turns, so the toy always comes back. And name the feeling: "You really want it back. That's hard." Mineymine's helpers are Tickatock and Feelio, the naming card: Say it out loud: "I feel worried." Your child can swap in their own word, like cross or cranky.

Waiting, taking turns and sharing all turn up on Christmas morning. Tickatock helps with each one.

How do I help my child with busy shops and loud noises?

Christmas shopping is bright, loud and crowded. Aisleaboo is the shopping Wobble: "Bright lights, beeps and busy aisles." Keep trips short, go at quieter times if you can, and cross things off the list together. Heftyhog says, "Carry something heavy for a grown-up." Carrying a bag or pushing the trolley counts. Planda helps too: "See what comes first and what comes next." First the shop, then the park.

Then there are the bangs: Christmas crackers (bon bons, as many Aussie families call them), party poppers, popping balloons and New Year fireworks. Boomcrackle "Bangs and pops loudly, but it can't hurt you." Warn your child before crackers are pulled, let them watch from a little further away, or let them skip it altogether. Hushpup says, "Headphones on when sounds get too big." Ear defenders in the car door pocket are worth having.

What if my child won't eat Christmas lunch?

A table full of new foods, strong smells and relatives saying "just try it" is a lot. Yuckmunch "Pulls a face at new foods, then tries one." Notice the order. The face comes first, and that's fine.

Make sure there's at least one food on the table your child already likes.
Let them serve themselves, even a tiny spoonful.
Touching or smelling a new food is a real step. It doesn't have to be eaten.
Ask relatives, kindly and ahead of time, not to comment on anyone's plate.

Yuckmunch has two helpers. Munchkin says, "Crunch a snack or chew something safe." Bravely is the brave-words card: Say it strong: "I can do hard things." If worries about food, noise or new people are big or lasting, have a calm chat with your GP or your child's doctor.

Busy shops, loud crackers and new foods, with Hushpup ready for the bangs.

How do I get my child to sleep on Christmas Eve?

Buzzywhiz is our Moonlight bedtime card for nights like this one: "Tomorrow's fun keeps your brain busy." Give the busy brain something slow to do.

Keep the usual bedtime steps, even if they start later: bath, pyjamas, teeth, story.
Dim the lights early and put screens away well before bed.
Try Countastar: "Count stars slowly up to ten." Or Flopsloth: "Let each part go floppy, toes to nose."
Agree a simple rule for the morning, like staying in bed until a time you choose.

If you're staying away, Oddbunk may visit: "A strange bed in a new place." Pack your child's own pillowcase, teddy and night light so the room looks and smells a little like home. Oddbunk has two helpers. Lullabee says, "Smell your soft, clean pillow." Sockitten says, "Warm socks help sleepy feet."

Buzzywhiz and Oddbunk are Moonlight cards for bedtime. Countastar and Flopsloth help a busy brain slow down.

These Moonlight cards are in the Complete Collection. For a steady bedtime routine the rest of the year, our Bedtime Bundle is a separate set: the Kids Bedtime Routine Workbook plus 20 bedtime task cards, from bath time to lights out.

How can we have a calmer Christmas as a family?

A short plan you actually use beats a perfect one:

Look at the week ahead together and spot the tricky bits.
Choose one calming move for each, and practise it while everyone is calm.
Pack a small calm bag: headphones, a fidget, a snack, a soft toy.
Look after yourself too. Kids borrow our calm, so your own slow breath counts.

To practise slow breathing together, try our free Breathe with Breatho page. For ideas on making a quiet spot, see how to set up a calm down corner.

How do the Calmlings cards help at Christmas?

Print the Wobbles you expect this week and lay them out. Your child picks a Calmling to tame each one, and you practise the move together. On the day, they can point to the card when words are hard.

Waitwhile, Yuckmunch and Boomcrackle, plus helpers like Nestle, Tickatock and Hushpup, are in the Starter Set. If you'd like every card in this post, including Knockknock, Roadrumble, Aisleaboo and the bedtime cards, they're all in the Calmlings Complete Collection, with 1000 cards in all. You can browse them in the card gallery first.

Christmas doesn't have to be calm every minute. A few planned pauses, a quiet spot and a move your child knows can make the tricky bits a little smaller. Merry Christmas from our family to yours.